"Wombats have four sphincters compared to the human's one," I'm told. “It means they can make flat-sided pooh."
Why, I wonder, would any animal want to perform such a perfect piece of anal architecture?
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De cand nu m-am mai blogosferizat, s-au intamplat prea multe incat sa imi destainui viata asa ca am sa spun ca nu s-a intamplat nimic, ca sa fie bine pt toti. Fara sa fie prea multi, sa stiti ca totusi au fost cativa care si-au facut griji ba c-am crapat, ba c-am fost rapita si dusa pe insulele Virgine de catre seicul Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, ba ca, doamne fereste, am tras obloanele la blog de tot. Dar nu s-a intamplat asa.
Nu stiu sa numar saptamanile in care am fost in coma blogareasca, dar intre timp am invatat sa numar primaverile pana la 20. In ziua cu pricina (20 de ani in 20 avril, luna bolunzilor) imi suna telefonul. Vad ca-i mama. Ma uit la ceas: "de ce trebuie sa ma sune cu 2 ore mai devreme? Poate de-aia ca in Romania e deja ora 12 noaptea...Hmmm, se poate". Si pana am facut eu acest rationament cartezian, telefonul nu mai suna. Pai da, mai fratilor, ca la 20 de ani deja altfel sta treaba cu prospetimea neuronala. Plus ca, oricat de atipica, tot ardeleanca raman. Asa ca a mai sunat o data dupa vreun minut, si acum am avut viteza de reactie mai de doamne-ajuta, ca am apucat sa raspund. Si ce-mi aude urechea dreapta?! O haita de oameni cantanad la o chitara - de fapt canta numai Imi la chitara, banui - si la voci fara numar, o melodie de 20 de ani.
Ecoul - Taina (o lume de 20 de ani)
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Lume veche de 20 de ani...Nu stiu daca ar fi trebuit intai sa pic in depresie muiereasca din pricina asta (fereasca sfantu` sa ma mai cunoasteti la urmatoarea schimbare de prefix), sa multumesc pt dedicatia muzicala, sau sa incep sa analizez procentajul de adevar din zicala "viata misto ca la 20 de ani" - care zice-se ca e cea mai gigea varsta...
Da` pt mine...la 20 de ani, viata nu-i nici prea roz, nici prea cu picatele. Ar putea sa fie mai rau, ma bucur ca nu e. Dar si mai bine, si ma frustreaza ca nici asa nu e.
Acum e varsta adultului-bonsai. Ai deja o idee - mai mult sau mai putin vaga - despre cum si cu ce se mananca viata, da` tot puiet esti, raportezi totul numai la tine pt ca ai pe cap responsabilitatea propriei persoane numai, n-ai copchii de hranit, nici barbat cu acte-n regula, nici macar un job. E un soi de dolce far niente, fara partea de dolce neaparat. E varsta la care mancarea de baza inca e Kellogg`s si eventual orez, daca nu ti-e lene sa-l fierbi. E perioada cand in unele zile te scoli la 10 dimineata pt ca ai stat toata noaptea sa te uiti la filmele lui Almodovar sau ai fost la un chef unde ai dansat pe Manu Chao si nu te simti prost ca ai ratat cursul de Contract Law. Pt ca la varsta asta inca scoti cugetari destepte precum "The future ain`t what it used to be." Ai auzit tu odata o melodie, The Time Of My Life, si nu numai ca iti venea sa te zbengui pe ea, ci ai chiar crezut ca versurile au fost scrise pt tine. Acum dai de prima sesiune si incepi sa iti pui intrebari profund dureroase de genul "cine p&#@ calului m-a pus sa fac Dreptul?", dar tot acum ai bolunzenia necesara sa te trezesti dimineata si sa te sui intr-un avion si sa mergi unde te taie mintiuca, cat sa iti faci damblaua pt o zi (vezi episodul atat asta, cat si celalalt). Acum intalnesti oameni demni de nomenclatura de "best friend forever" cu care stai pana noaptea tarziu la sesiuni de epilare inghinala si apoi privesti rasaritul de soare cu o sticla de vin rosu si discuti despre "unde dracu` ne duce viata asta?"
Nu stii daca e de bine sau de rau, dar adopti o atitudine mai miserupista si incepi sa enjoy the moment mai mult decat o faceai. Nu mai vrei atat de multa stabilitate, cat o "viata interesanta".
Nu stiu ce voiati voi la 20 de ani, dar eu, una, vreau sa merg in Australia sa vad care-i treaba cu wombatsii. Starea care ma caracterizeaza cel mai mult in momentul actual este asta
N-AM STARE!
How it has come to this, I have never quite understood. Perhaps, i do. Logically, it is quite possible, in fact, inevitable that it came to this. I am sometimes tempted to be romantic -ok, rarely, but I sometimes am-(and for the sake of threading a perfect novel piece) to say that my heart don’t understand. But the truth is, my heart understands; in fact better than my mind. Months ago, even when laughter and conversation were ample, my heart had already began to beat the shuddery, shadowy beat. It is very much like music; if you were to listen carefully, you’ll hear the faint but definite background pulse going hand in hand with the main composition. That was precisely the case: the main tempo was the joyful, lighthearted beat (oh, how many times a day would I break into a laughter; crack a smile; lean on you and felt safe?) But vague and definite, the shadowy beat of guilt and uncertainty came along side the main tempo. Yes, my heart knew better; discerned better; in fact, much better than my mind would ever.
But it is precisely the sensitivity of the heart that makes it such a contradiction. It understands best for it is most sensitive to the changes in the tides of relationships: foreseeing these changes long before they occur; but yet, because of its sensitivity, it will hurt infinitely. The heart is a muscle, thus, it will ache; it will tire. The mind: a mass of nerves coldly detects, interprets and signals. It cannot tire or hurt.
And how i wished that my heart and my head worked together, flawlessly as a team: that the heart will sense and discern long before any disaster befall and the mind will logically persuade and convince the heart to evacuate from the place of danger. But alas! it is not so at all. The heart and mind, so often, so fantastically mix up their roles and play each other’s part that one is led to walk straigt into disaster, sit there in the middle of it all and not budge. The best part is: we tell ourselves, we have to endure and persevere through the pain. Now, you may wonder how is it possible that the heart and mind mix up their God given, divine roles? But is it not true? The mind does not properl our thoughts forward logically; instead it plays the nostalgic role of the heart and constantly stirs up memories of happier days, bad fights and should-have-been-long-forgotten-but-left-unforgotten pasts alike. And the heart? It illogically persuades and convinces us to make decisions and choose paths. No wonder we stay in the middle of crises to endure when all that we ever needed to do to stop the pain was to walk away.
Now, i have analysed the reason for pain; for sustained periods of gried and the factors that lead one to be “stuck in a moment” (U2) BUt is it of any practical use to me? Not quite. Except that i made a resolution to write this piece titled “Final Goodbyes” (Note: “goodbyes” not goodbye”. Because this is not the first time i said goodbye to this friendship or say it to you aprosophically and neither would it be the last. Until my mind and heart learn to play their own roles dutifully, uncompromisingly, and accurately, i will have to keep saying goodbyes)
“We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun”
How apt that everything is written in the past tense; but why then do we keep singing this song?
Because of the confusion of the heart and mind; that is why. And so we will just have to keep saying goodbyes.

